I sit here in a room full of memories
A room I can’t get out of.
I keep thinking about the past.
All the wonderful things. But I also remember you.. I remember when I first saw you. When I first talked to you. Damn how did we get to where we are now? How did things get so bad? Where did they take a left turn for the worst? I ask myself all these questions but they never get answered. I know I need to move on. But who do I move on with?
I keep thinking about you. And reliving the nights we spent together. The night I stayed at your dad’s house. How comfortable we were. And all the laughs we shared. I miss you. And I want you back. But I can’t have you back. :(
The reason I wanted to be with you so bad is because your what I know your what’s comfortable to me. Your what I’m used to. And now I want nothing to do with you. #hateyou
Give me that cute love story every girl sees in the movies. Give me that classy and attractive guy that is going to love me to the ends of the earth. Let me find my soul mate. Let me be happy for once in my life.
You know what sucks? That moment in life when you think you can eat three small chicken strips, you get them out and microwave them and when they are done in the microwave you get the ranch or whatever sauce you put on your chicken strips. You look at your food and even thinking about touching it makes you sick. I can’t even eat a whole chicken strip!
I hurt so much. I honestly never thought I would feel this way again. I never thought I’d resort to suicide again. I never thought I’d be back. I thought I was better but I guess not. I don’t think I’ll ever be better.
What the fuck did I do wrong this time? God I hate being here where everything I do is oh so wrong. Fuck this.
Why can’t I just find a good guy to love me? Why can’t I find someone like people find in the movies. I want me soulmate. I’m tired of waiting.
I can’t wait to get married
I’m a little irritated with the hopper side of my unfortunate family. I take time out of my dad to call them and they hardly ever answer. Then my cousin (who shall remain un-named) texts me saying “sorry I was at dinner with Kaden’s family!” And I said “it’s fine I’m a little mad that nobody will fucking answer their phone.” First off I know it was wrong of me to snap at her but here is what happens next… She gets all pissed off because I was pissed off she got on her high fucking horse and was ready to tell me I was wrong and she was right like she tends to do to everyone. (Very annoying) look honey I don’t know who died and made you queen but shut the fuck up and put your self in someone else’s shoes. Because one day your not going to be the one everyone bows down to anymore. You don’t like confrontation but yet your the cause of most of it. So put your self in my shoes before your so quick to Jude and make sure your perfect when you point out my flaws.