I can’t wait to have the country wedding I’ve always wanted and to be the country wife I’ve always dreamed of being!!!
We’re all smart and we know what’s bad and good for us
But yet when you got offered some marijuana, you took a puff
Your brain’s a fucking powerhouse, but what? That wasn’t good enough?
It’s people like you who talk that “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve” stuff
You probably threw your life away cause you would rather get high
With no license or car, so you bum rides to get by
Saying “I should’ve did this” or “I shouldn’t have hung with this guy”
“I’m broke as fuck, my rent’s high. Ah, I should’ve realized”
I ain’t being cruel, these situations that I address
I more than likely could be someone you admire, yes
But it’s because the blood, sweat and all the time that I invest
We play the same game, difference is you never try your best
You don’t have a skill, you set yourself up for a higher mess
I work around the clock, you slack off a lot for time to rest
You bullshittin’ till your life is gone
Cause living’s naturally hell, you have to work to put a smile on.
I sit here in a room full of memories
A room I can’t get out of.
I keep thinking about the past.
All the wonderful things. But I also remember you.. I remember when I first saw you. When I first talked to you. Damn how did we get to where we are now? How did things get so bad? Where did they take a left turn for the worst? I ask myself all these questions but they never get answered. I know I need to move on. But who do I move on with?
I keep thinking about you. And reliving the nights we spent together. The night I stayed at your dad’s house. How comfortable we were. And all the laughs we shared. I miss you. And I want you back. But I can’t have you back. :(
The reason I wanted to be with you so bad is because your what I know your what’s comfortable to me. Your what I’m used to. And now I want nothing to do with you. #hateyou
Give me that cute love story every girl sees in the movies. Give me that classy and attractive guy that is going to love me to the ends of the earth. Let me find my soul mate. Let me be happy for once in my life.
You know what sucks? That moment in life when you think you can eat three small chicken strips, you get them out and microwave them and when they are done in the microwave you get the ranch or whatever sauce you put on your chicken strips. You look at your food and even thinking about touching it makes you sick. I can’t even eat a whole chicken strip!
I hurt so much. I honestly never thought I would feel this way again. I never thought I’d resort to suicide again. I never thought I’d be back. I thought I was better but I guess not. I don’t think I’ll ever be better.
What the fuck did I do wrong this time? God I hate being here where everything I do is oh so wrong. Fuck this.
Why can’t I just find a good guy to love me? Why can’t I find someone like people find in the movies. I want me soulmate. I’m tired of waiting.